Demetri MartinFunny If you can’t tell a spoon from a ladle, then you’re fat! – Demetri Martin Fat Quotes Funny Quotes Ladle Quotes Spoon Quotes What’s funny about Jesus’ Son is that I never even wrote that book, I just wrote it down. I would tell these stories and people would say, You should write these things down. I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’
Matt Smith I asked for a piano in the TARDIS, but it hasn’t happened. I’d love to see the Doctor rock up and play, but it’d have to be done in an inventive and silly way. – Matt Smith
Fred DeLuca I guess that’s one of the benefits of being sick. Your wife lets you have a big-screen TV in the living room. – Fred DeLuca
AloneHeart Evangelista I’m not against divorce, but I do believe it’s really not a joke to find a life partner. In fact, better be alone and take your time rather than complicate things. – Heart Evangelista
Louis Armstrong When this ugly gangster told Joe Glaser that he must take the name of Armstrong down, off of the marquee, and it was an ‘order from Al Capone,’ Mr. Glaser looked this cat straight in the face and told him these words: ‘I think that Louis Armstrong is the world’s greatest, and this is my place, and I defy anybody to take his name down from there.’ – Louis Armstrong
EqualityShashi Tharoor The U.N. guards the vital principles entrenched in its charter, notably the sovereign equality of states and the inadmissibility of interference in their internal affairs. It is precisely because the U.N. is the chief guardian of both these sacrosanct principles that it alone is allowed to approve derogations from them. – Shashi Tharoor
Frances O'Grady Would I describe myself as new Labour? I’m Labour, organised Labour. I think labels have a limited use and that’s where you really get into boy stuff sometimes, just sticking on labels. – Frances O’Grady
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